Home » Infertility » Is honesty the best policy??

Is honesty the best policy??

Usually, when I blog, I sit and write from the heart, and have no hesitation clicking the “publish” button.

My last post was different. I read it, and re-read it, and then saved it, and then came back to it, and then thought “to hell with it, this is how I’m feeling” and released it to the blogosphere.

That night, I lay in bed with some serious guilts. I felt like a truly awful human being – selfish, unkind and juvenile. There were hardly any comments, which, exacerbated by my state of paranoia, made me think that nobody else ever felt this way and so there was something wrong with me. I actually considered taking the post down. Why? Because my blogging community is full of people whom I’ve come to really respect and admire. I worried that everybody would lose their respect for me.

But, a comment from a fellow blogger made me think, “if I can’t be candid and honest on my own blog, where can I be?”.

Over the past few years, I’ve often sat in front of the computer, in tears, and find the process of writing extremely healing and really quite cathartic. So much so, that I leave the computer feeling stronger, more rational and ready to crack on with life. Even more so, when the comments start piling in!

So how honest should we all be? Is it a problem when we start blogging as an escape from the judgement of family/friends but then fear being judged by our online community?

honesty-and-freedom-pic

6 thoughts on “Is honesty the best policy??

  1. I’m not sure I’ve seen the blog post to which you refer (i’ve been offline for a week & I’m a bit inept at finding things after the fact)… I can relate to your feelings. I sometimes worry about what I post and how it might be construed by others. Will they think I’m a moaner or just feeling sorry for myself all the time or massively over sharing etc etc. I wonder if these feelings are quite common. After all we’re blogging about deeply personal issues with huge emotional baggage attached. Don’t be hard on yourself. I’m sure what you said shouldn’t be cause for regret – it’s how you felt at the time and you shouldn’t punish yourself for that.

  2. I don’t think I saw it either… Honesty is best. Some posts (by anyone) I don’t comment on because I haven’t anything to add, but it doesn’t mean I disliked what I read.

  3. I am completely transparent in my blog and I have never regretted it. It gives me so much peace to write exactly what I am feeling and thinking. And I share my blog on Facebook. I have had some criticism and negative remarks over the years, but they are few and I try not to let them bother me. That works best for me. I think you should be as honest as you want and as makes you happy.

  4. I think you have feelings that all of us have and have articulated them really well! I’m definitely one of those people who presses Publish and then thinks “omg I hope people like it” or if it doesn’t get enough interaction I think “Did I say something offensive?” I also think it goes in cycles. I’m a total FB addict but right now I check WP more, as I haven’t shared anything like this on FB. I was inspired by another blogger Dani who posted that they were PUPO on FB and I thought did it really well… I think I’m not ready for that level of sharing yet though. I didn’t even tell T about my blog until last week! 😂 I had mentioned I read blogs but not about actually blogging. When I did mention it he was fine about it! But not bothered about reading it! (Probably best given how much I gush about him on there!)

    I do think honesty is the best policy in most cases… But I actually find that the relative anonymity on here means I can be a little more “honest” or open. On FB and in real life I self censor – eg I have hardly told anyone about the infertility, IVF, pregnancy and miscarriage. I would find it difficult to talk about it in real life. Whereas on here I feel it’s easier to write (as I can edit) and I know it’s being shared with a (mostly) sympathetic audience.

    I don’t think you should worry about how you come across. If you can’t vent on your own blog, where can you? ☺️

    • So very true. I think generally speaking I’ve been comfortable with most things I post on here (what would be the point otherwise as like you said, FB/Twitter are completely censored/altered), but you just can’t get that social-media-mentality out of your head sometimes, can you?
      I’m impressed T didn’t know about the blog! I wonder what he thought you were up to on the laptop all the time, haha. In the early days when infertility was a new thing, I actually found it really helpful for my other half to read the blog posts as there are some things (even after 11 years of being together) that are just so hard to vocalise

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