Home » Infertility » I survived!

I survived!

I am referring here to my visit yesterday, to see my sister-in-law and her new baby. This is the visit that I have been dreading ever since I found out she was pregnant back in October,ย and I had built it to be an absolute mountain, in my head.

My sister-in-law is 40 years old, and this is her third (although her first with my husband’s brother). I don’t know whether this helped a little, as it was far less “intense” than visiting my friends who have all had their first and are just FULL of “baby”.

I’ve never had much of a rapport with her, which I think is why I’ve had such conflicting emotions over *this* particular pregnancy, but, with an unprejudiced mind, she will probably be incredibly helpful when my time comes, with practical advice and support that I would otherwise lack. She also pointed out that we will share a few months of maternity leave, together. You never know, we may be best buddies this time next year.

My new nephew is beautiful, and precious and I just CANNOT WAIT to have my own little munchkin in my arms.

I’ve come away feeling:

  1. *Gulp* – this gorgeous little thing is just adorable and I could cuddle him all day
  2. “Yikes, that felt a bit crampy”, cue *knicker check* – oh god, what if I don’t get to this day with my little one?
  3. Proud, that I have managed to accomplish the thing that has kept me up at night, and has occupied my thoughts almost every day on the commute to work
  4. At peace – like I am ready to be a mum, and cope with the sleepless nights, my neat, tidy house going to pot, the financial sacrifices, like giving up clothes shopping and posh meals, along with the sacrifices to my social calendar

It’s funny, a lot of you said that I’d be surprised at how I felt, finally being pregnant and meeting a new mum and sprog. I’m glad to say that you were right ๐Ÿ™‚

9 thoughts on “I survived!

  1. My sister in law just had a baby too – I haven’t found the courage to visit yet. Good for you for getting through it and being so positive. Good luck – I hope you get want you want soon.

    • Thank you, and I’m sorry to hear that you’re facing similar feelings.
      I’ve just been having a read of your blog- I was once told by somebody that the day they stopped feeling guilt at their emotions, and started putting themselves first, was the day they found some weird peace. Whilst things are still so raw from your last cycle, you need to look after *you*. I hope your family understand and support you in that

      • Thank you – it seems to get tougher. I hope that writing it all down will provide an emotional release or something.

      • It definitely has done for me, I really hope it does for you, too. Hardly anybody knows I blog so I can be as damning and irrational as I want to be without feeling judged by friends/family!

      • ๐Ÿ™‚ yes well this is my secret catharsis too. I think my husband would be appalled at the stuff I’m writing and the fact that anyone can see it! But it helps to connect with other people who have similar experiences.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s